Won't even start

What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September

I havent seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where Ive been

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you

Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know itll cut me like a knife

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

Shalom College Ball on the 14th of May in Wolfies-The ROcks
Well balls are perhaps the perfect excuse to take gozillians of pictures without revealing the camwhorer blood in u! :) So balls are to dress, strut and twinkle... heh
So let the pictures do the talking yarh heh coz they're really isn't much to say....

owh i was posing with the advertising poster haha so cham! bottom right picture suha and len... they look like they're related weih 0.o

from left keat, audi, jen (ex resident), hsien, jendi, naph and weng chi (she looks like a jap that night) (= owh that's the table setting that day btw

sneaky sneaky hehe eh i mean silly silly....

look how the lamb looks like a bear claw =O

the guy in the middle pic... edmundo is my personal law tutor in shalom :) am grateful to god for him heh.... nice chap! at the right top kai ching (chick magnet haha) and bottom guan who's from subang, malaysia weih 0.o hehe small world... he went to taylors too btw.

Gaya and Nisha :) they look reli beautiful... bottom left, Jee may and Mahesh also hailing from Malaysia JM from PJ and Mahesh from Penang..
owh the dessert was reli yummy (=

Hsien was so cute that night hehe.... the pictures say it all man! Jendi wanted to throw him into the pool haha..

bottom left, Naph... dear friend in college :) am glad to know u... top right aviva, exhange student from chicago.. she's goin back end of the sem :( i'll mizz u deary!

All in all I've got tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of work to do and yet here I am updating my blog heh.... Law is still a challenge and still looking upon the Lord for strength... I praise him for good results for commerce mid session test but i also praise him even when i don't do well for law and QMA because good times, bad times, we praise him.... true? :) So father, finals for the semester is approaching so quickly, in great need of help... I commit everything to u... and to my dear dear friends sitting for their a levels finals exam all da best to you all! Am always keeping u all in my prayers! Jia you! and trust in the lord ;) Do ur best! Man that advice also applies for me heh

Memory verse : Ecclesiastes 9:10

Whatever you do, do well
Amen ;')
God bless....

The very delayed post on law camp!

It's befuddling when i ponder.... The amount of workload pilling due to my owh so infamous habit of procrastinating is mountainSSS high notice the emphasis on the SSS. haha and yet in the middle of it all i have that tingling mood to update on my so procrastinated blog lol... anyway yeah updates on law camp (= pictures!

It's law camp babeh!!! It's wild time!!! haha they say law students are perhaps the wildest of all..... We have the most alcohol (ps:not me) and the craziest party time! and yesh i beg not to defer that we ahem, they are wild! (=

we're on the boat/ferry/mini ship? to Broken Bay which is further up from north sydney. From left, lilin from New Zealand, Alain from Mas/Sing and the true and true Malaysians, Brian and me

yay! law faculty is deluged with hot chicks weih!!! ahem not claiming myself as one, mind u haha! look at the small inset picture with all the girls!! the one standing is hot baby michelle... hey i envy ur slimness!!! owh we played a game, many games of touch ball? Don't exactly know the exact term but yeah it was good fun.. owh and the beach there was lovely reminds me of Labuan, home :) but owh the sun was so torrid... turned me into a barbequed chinese....

we had a lill tennis (= there was no archery kayaking and so on that was supposedly to have :( coz the 'professional instructors' din come! Boo!

we had a lill camwhore or as the term known here "LAVO" time by the beach (= pretty awesome! owh the girl in red is heidi a hongkie, mohini is wearing sunnies she's a mix thai and indi, hence a halfie :) and there's michelle as introduced earlier (=


Hugo's picture is too cute not to be posted up heh! I wrote on the Sand :) (: weee haha wat childishness!

group pic?serene, heidi, michelle, mohini, konrad, lilin and jarrah.. order starts from left yo...


jarrah jarrah.... the thruster! man u rock in the ducky ducky game eh :)

I do miss Malaysia <3....> Grease NIght!!!! dressie dressie up :) Lilin brought an afro and we all, well almost all of us had a go at it! pretty damn cool :)

the dance floor? and the bon fire

during the last day..... was clean up and more picture time


on the way back.... the picture of the boys from left, angelo (my assistant group leader, alain, brian, lilin, henry and roy) psss roy the guy in green is the current law society president.... Will and inset sharon are both doin post graduate law :) i think they go well with each other :) don't cha?

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

argh there's so much to update but lol insufficient time
Btw haha i'm having mid session exams this week so i'm excuse for posting a pictureless post XD
owh well life in sydney's been fun but man uni is a hell lot more torture than college...
Reason! : Serene barely passes her tests.
Owh and law is reli tough in Aus.. ppl here they're english are frigggin fabuuuuulousssssss
Damn Esl haha thought get A19 = 91-95 darn awesome wah nose rise high high haha
but come here in law faculty -.-
got my court report back the other day.. jeez man here they don't teach like seriously they juz guide little bit nia.... do court report oso never teach wat oso never teach how la malaysians gonna survive... in particular a lazy malaysian girl....
so anyway got a feedback note from the law lecturer bout my english -.-
apparently my language let me down in other words ur english is reli bad...
owh well i was thinking harh! reli? 0.O but my Ter not so cha arrr
lol thks to Suha, korean guy friend who explained the logic -.-
Esl is the lowest standard of english in australia.
There's Esl---> standard english---> advanced english---> extended english
and since law ppl need TER 99.3 with extended english = so impossible to score in
and the standard of HSC = sydney is higher for the locals.... there u go serene a smack in the ass of welcome to the reality world of law....
-.- how la gonna survive... darn sad, even got reffered to the learning center to like learn english -.- haha
owh well but then eventhough i never knew the purpose of me coming here to do law i mean come on serene,,, LAW? not ur type of thing ur a lazy fat ass haha
but i kinda start to see the clouds clearing and the purpose revealing itself... God gave me 6/10 for law court report which is a pass thank goodness considering how lazy i've been since coming here god has indeed been gracious but i reli do pray he'd give me the discipline to work hard so to achieve good results to glorify his name (=
Anyway since coming here i've become worst of a junk food addict... as since a sundry shop bout 10 minutes walk from my college always has chips on sales
I've had 16 bags of doritos + smith's chips sincecoming to sydney :D that's equivalent to 16*200g=3.2kg of chips since arriving :) which also means i comsume a bag of chips on average of 3 days a packet? haha not to forget the numerous packets instant noodles and tim tam i snack on :D
so as a result
I can't fit most of my pants no longer -.-
hahaha
owh well
aiya exam exam
Doritos i'm coming :D munch munch
will update again soon :)
toodles

DSO breathe <3

I see your face in my mind as I drive away'
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe Without you,
but I have to Breathe Without you, but I have to
It's two a.m.,
feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy,
easy for me
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me,
oh I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to
BreatheWithout you, but I have to
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryI'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

It's as though this was written specially for us
Every line, every word juz unfolds truth after facts
I never regreted once ever in my life being with u
Knowing every second of it was worth more than anything in the world ( even shopping=clothes)
That's just how much u mean to me..
Everything.....
I just want u to know i appreciate life with you
Everything little thing u did will always be ingrained in me forever
The calls, messages, prezzies,
The way u stared at me,
No one can ever take the yesterday we had
The bond we had will always be special to me
If not unforgettable
You made ur way to my heart
Grasping it with ur gentle hands
It breaks me to know ur sad
And I want you to know that it is never easier for me than it is for u
Given all the things we shared and treasured
The sweet and the bitter
The anger and the love
The tears and the smiles
The fights that are always mended with sweet hugs and kisses
The disappointments and golden experiences, but......
I know ur better off without me
We made it through 5 valentines
But it's time u share ur valentine with someone better
Better than i can ever be
Take care my love....

The start of my life in sydney

An earnest apologies to my dear readers for my so habitual procrastination! Been too busy absorbing and learning the lifestyles of australians and how to survive in sydney lol! Sydney is getting cold like 16 degrees during the afternoons 0.O my hair dye is running out haha black hair coming back lol.... I've been getting seriously FAT! it's like now a MAJOR ISSUE IN MY LIFE ATM lol XD though i stay in Shalom College a jewish college that practices korshe diet.... that means no PORK for u ppl I REPEAT NO PORK WEIH! haiya malaysia muslim country pun ada babi but come australia pula no BABI! haha owh did i mention no seafood as well -.-!!!! seriously these ppl dunno wat is life man XD anyway haha despite that fact, SERENE GOT FAT! WTH*!@#% wat a MIRAcLE happening here in sydney 8D damn i'm getting more and more lame hah
in Malaysia i get mistaken as a Filipino when i came here people mistook me as an Indonesian... -.- but then again that's not a bad thing eh XD owh and a lot of them love my dark skin XD they find it somewhat attractive hahah wth when it's like a major turn off in asian society XD

Anyway life here's been good academically i'm not doing too well though law 0.O is friggin hard! like seriously it sux haha to stay awake in law lecture is as hard to do as serene skipping all her junks and meals for a day 0,O that's how friggin bad it is haha! Owh i had an assignment for law the other day though writing a court report! went to the supreme court of new south wales and OMG i got to witness the trial of the murder of Wayne Chant in which his wife Joyce Mary Chant murdered and dismembered his body blerks yucks! (vomites ) they even included details of how she chop his body up and hid his head in like the closet, part of the hand somewhere else and again yucks (vomites) haha... but then the witnessing the case kinda gave me that so needed hope that law will get better in time haha ( think leona lewis song) yes it will get better! I pray ( looks to father in heaven with big puppy dog eyes)

Anyway these activities i guess basically concerns the activities that goes around in my Shalom college,,, though the food ain't that great and the @^%#* head cook is a *&@% bitch,,,, the buddies here are awesome, fun :) and dear!

Me and naph :) my college mate... we were doin uni id's It was like during the first week of our orientation week... the queue was -.- OMG! haha 1 hour plus? -.-

owh college went on a formal breakfast trip in darling harbour :D damn food here is EXP! breakfast was like 20? aussie dollars we're talking here equivalent to 20*2.65 (current exchange rate) = 52 ringgit -.- for a friggin breakfast that wasn't even that awesome haha but well like i say company was good :) so it makes up for it i guess Marginal benefit overwrites marginal cost lol WTH ECOns knowledge XD that's bout wat i know btw haha i'm such a clueless bimbo when it comes to studies 8D owh and that girl is aviva btw she's an exchange student from america, chicago to be precise, nice jewish girl :)

naph, jendi ( she's a damn nice senior who was really nice to us during ori) me and nora having a picture with the harbour bridge as a backdrop? (=

There's the shalom cruise :D haha was pretty awesome :) owh i dressed up btw XD can u tell? lol such a bimbo -.-(sarcastic eyebrows) the air was cool loved the sun :) to imagine in malaysia we try to avoid the sun when it's not even harmful but in sydney sun cancer causing pun still jemur (sunbath) under it haha owh see from bottom left the girl in black and the guy in black are ishvin and mahesh hailing from MALAYSIA BABY :D MALAYSIAN PPL :) damn i mizz home!

naph with the so adorable rayvee gravy baby :) it rhymes somehow XD me being a annoying poser haha nora learning from me XD gosh i'm such a bad influence lol.

Suha i love ur sexybutt! that was during city scavenger hunt :) where we went to like practically everywhere in the city and had to do like a zillion stupid stuff which explains the funky ass XD owh and that's how i got to know suha eh XD

during the week zero break of uni naph, girl in black(weng chi) me and nora went on the beach walk with focus church :) the sky had the i tell u i'm gonna rain look but it was all good anyway :) nora my dear girl who's hongkie accent i so love to tease XD man it never grows old man! i'm damn mean but owh well (laughs evilly XD) man i don even know if the word evilly actually exist but it so does in serene's dictionary yo!

haha three statues! COOL AND AWESOME statues btw :)

the whole group who actually went on the walk! owh missing out edward though he was taking the pic btw! the rest of the group which was like so many of them came oni to join lunch -.-! haha

owh the guy above my head is edward :) the photographer for the previous pic and he hails from seremban lol!

owh teppanyaki with aunts :D when they told me we were goin teppanyaki for lunch my face din look to keen -.- (think malaysian teppanyaki with the green banners and the mass production -.-!) but OMGZOEJHDF the teppanyaki here is one word YUM! haha there's like a private chef for every table some more see the pic performing feats some more 8D serene eyes glow XD

me sis and aunts :) from dad side btw haha they're all from sydney lol only my dad and his bro are left in malaysia like even grandpapa and grandmama are in sydney loL! quirky eh!

owh this was the cocktail party for shalom! the theme of the night was wizard of OZ which explains all the dress up hehe i dressed as dorothy? i had no other idea wat to do la! my wardrobe not crazy enuf to pull off awesome outfits XD

was pretty awesome as u can see! people here take dressing up really seriously 0.O unlike malaysia where if u say theme is hawaian only like two ppl will actually seriously dress lol how contrasting hmmmm

formal dinner in shalom :) we have like four formal dinners a year heh :D weeee time to dress up :D lol again bimbo! and OMG we have waiters serving us some more :D pretty amusing i've gotta say college life is fun! by college in australia we mean hostel in malaysian terms

1, 2, 2.5, smile :D

Owh serene went for hillsong album recording :D eyes shines and shines and shines 8D..... it was SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @#$% GOOD!!!!! haha there was like 12000 ppl 0.O omg the atmosphere :) the presence of GOD :) awww everything juz was so perfect! hey ppl look out for the album weih the songs are WOAH SOOOoooooooooooOOOOooo GOOD!

It was held in sydney entertainment center in CHINATOWN :)

the lightings 0.O so damn nice! SO many ppl fullhouse weih!

shaun on the left is in my connect group, lynette,daphnee and me :D

owh this was like the last activity for orientation for us and it was the day my baby left me actually :( my poor son so i was like basically tearing up in centennial park -.- but i had good friends who cheered me up :) awww thank u but still i went back and wailed like a hysteric woman -,- but then how can u blame me i juz lost my poor panadol! but anyway centennial park bbq was good :) the guy on the top right is GUan he comes from Subang JAya ppl! everybody say good for u guannos XD bottom left is gabriella who comes from Vietnam :) she's a damn nice girl la :)

background of a grass certainly do wonders for a picture eh?

owh on the right is Dica or Pedro? who comes from Indonesia our neighbour weih malaysians! although he grew up in canberra -.-

My owh so messy but lovely room :) but before u start judging, i've tidied it up btw! so much! haha it's a pretty big room actually and owh i have my own SINK!!!!! shalom's the only college in unsw that has private sinks! how amazing man i so thank god and bless the architect behind this genius idea! he made life so much easier for miss owh so vain XD haha

anyway I know i haven said much! there's so much to say so much to do, so much that happened but i promise i'll update my blog on a more regular basis kays! owh and i mizz malaysia and family :)

and Blessed Easter everybody :) went to the hillsong service in Sydney Entertainment Center today and was greatly blessed :)

People, let us not forget bout the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross and believe in him so that through him we may have eternal life

God is good all the time :) In him even before we were born we had hope we had forgiveness... even before we sinned he died for us so that we may live in hope! Indeed God ur my almighty father whom i will follow all the days of my life! Draw me closer to u and lemme be a blessing to those around.... may the world see the light that he shines (=

Once again Blessed easter :)

xoxo

serene

in loving memory of panadol ong 21 august 2003 - 1 march 2009

The only family members I reckon has passed away is my grandpa and my lill beethoven....

having endured the sadness of my mix dobermann passing made me worried that i'd lose my other two babies.. gissmo(a welsh corgi look alike) and panadol(my own baby shih tzu)...

i know that life is but a passing moment where the ones we love will inevitably leave us some day sometime... i'd juz din anticipate that a major heartbreak was impending....

my dear child panadol ong havin escaped from his room has explored the outside world of our home i mean it's not as if it's his first time in fact perhaps he's done it several million times but juz that one day 13th of february after coming home from his escapement gosh i make him sound like a refuge... he started showing symptoms of poisoning... vomiting lack of appetite ...

dad did everything he could actually like giving him some magic grass, brought him to visiting vets from kl who say they couldn't do anything coz they were no facilities to carry out diagnosis.. labuan vet(the vet in labuan is @@#$% STUPID!!!!!!) i know i'm not suppose to like curse but seriously they're too F^&*#^& STUPID to be spared from ostracism.. feeding him with all sorts of delicacy but it din work... em damn malay vets in labuan so damn afraid to touch dogs... don deserve to call themselves vet... suckers!!

if it not had been they're stupid owh i'm so scared to touch dogs @#$$ attitude i wouldn't have lose my child damn it!!gosh my dear baby :(

I still can remmeber the day that i was so ecstatic for his arrival.. 11 november 2003.... I was the fourth person in the family to touch him and boy was i pissed... but anyway he's a real beauty... always so pump up and crazy running about everywhere like a dog infected with rabies except the fact that he isn't...

I still remember how i would rehearse my public speaking speech close to his face and he's wag his tail and how he's sit between two stairs so he'd feel cooler..


I can still remmeber how smart he was, opening his room door to get into the house by pushing his fluffy head into a hole he slowly made from the wire covering the metal door and pulling it backwards to open it.. and how fast he learn how to roll ( he learned that in half an hour) and have lasting memory of how to do it... how he roll around our beds secretly (i can picture his evil grin) sometimes peeing on them.... how he spoiled the weighing scale by peeing on it hundreds of times...

when he was a baby his grandma, my mum use to put bananas under the kitchen table in a basket.... and soon were shocked to discover the bananas regularly had holes in them.... and one day caught the thief red handed.. he was eating them and since he was so tiny he only managed to make tiny holes in them.... and how when we peeled it and gave it to him, he refuses to eat it... he peels the banana himself =O by holding it in two paws and bitting the tip and moving his head from right to left to peel it..........

or how he'd get really constipated when he ate peanut that his grandma threw from the table..

how he use to do the olympic rounds around the living room while carrying a floor mat everytime we teased him....

how he bit me and dad when we tried to cut his nails or inject him....


gosh there's juz so much things to talk bout my baby... indeed lill panadol was a joy to the family though sometimes he causes headaches here and there.. he was definitely the best son i could hope for...

gosh this is definitely the downest moment of my life.... havin turned into a teenager 6 years ago, i never thought i'd cry like a child again... except this is a prolonged version of the loud wailing... during the loss of beethoven i cried too but at least i was there when he left... unlike panadol........ i am a bad mum.... seriously i let him down :'( how could i... how could i....... he was there for me when i had to keep moving houses in form 5 he moved with me wherever i went he went... but wherever he goes i din follow and now i can never make ammendments for that )':

gosh the baby of my life has left me broken defeated.. seriously i don't know how to explain this excrutiating pain of my heart.... i can't even say it's bleeding coz i feel as thought my heart is chopped into pieces... honestly one of the most vital assets in my life... has abandoned me..

6.30 malaysian time dad found him soaked in blood.. he vomited blood before he died... and i wasn't there :'( i left him to suffer and die alone sigh


gosh i juz can't picture seeing his room empty.. panadol u selfish child :'( how can u wrench my heart by ur absence.... i can't take it :'(
his children are now orphans... havin their mum and dad pass away... panadol's wife passed away early november 2008... sigh panadol you will always be my baby forever and ever...... you'll always be a part of me..... I love u panadol hugs and kisses....... always and always to the end... thank u to his grandpapa for getting fin's husband to bury him at the back garden of the house.. at least he'd always be close to home where baby won't be hurt anymore...

u don't know baby how broken mama feels right now... u'll never know coz u've left mama all alone....... my baby.. when u first arrived i have always told myself u'll live till ur 14 and be my ringbearer in mama's wedding... but ur gone :'( mama miss u so so much but mama will love u always eventhough u have left mama. i guess no more mother's day for me....

baby there's always be that spot in mama's heart that will always belong to you...

no matter how many times u bite mama, u'll always be the apple of my eye... take care my dear son....take care...