Friday, October 10, 2008

how beffudling ~ emo memo nemo

i dunno wat's happening.. i can't explain this feeling.....
i feel so downbeat, perplexed and perhaps even embittered... by what? i can't figure myself..
my life is vile =.= so i don't believe it is but i feel so....
perhaps my results sux but then again i have no right to claim so as indeed my God has blessed me more than i deserve....
or izzit perhaps i feel so lost and invincible...so unvalued? hmmm
or izzit because of my ambiguous future, that is so equivocal...
or izzit bcoz i feel unloved....
i know by heart and in my soul deeply that my omnipotent God can do all things for me
hence, i dunno why i'm feeling this way..
perhaps i have not surrendered myself completely to him fully entrusting myself unto his hands for him to do his will in my life?
i dunno i juz really can't explain this mystery cloud that's shrouding my life... =.=
i went to christian fellowship for the first time today and was profoundly moved by the pastor's words....claim u have freedom and power in the lord.... i do believe so truly...
after the service the pastor told me personally throw that sadness away... i was surprised.... sadness?? i am sad meh? lil did i know i was sad deep down...
again why? i can't explain..
but i do hope abba father can speak to my heart and lemme noe his intentions clearly...
for now all i can do is close my eyes and wait in sheer hope and trust in him that a smile may appear on my countenance again....

No comments: