Yet another catastrophe

Year 2008. A year of hope and new life. After what i've gone through in 2007, i just thought that God will be at least a little more fair to me this year. But less than a week into 2008 i just begin to wonder is my life gonna get worse?? 3rd Jan, college started and to be frank I don't enjoy it much. I guess i went through a little culture shock. Then a day later I am so confuse whether or not to take bio or specialist maths. I'm just getting so stressed out. I started to get really grumpy and impatient. I've got to apologise to my family for being so. Sarah and Sab if u do read this plz accept my apology. Today i went to church and as the pastor called for people to rededicate their lives, I just felt the urge to do so. I was so caught up I ambiguity that all I could do was hope fo him to do the best in my life. After church sisters and I went to Sunway and here's the worst part... my beloved w810i dropped straight into the toilet bowl. And right away the automatic flush turned on and in a twinkle of an eye all the memories was flushed away forever. My phone was with me throughout the turbulence of times. It was there when I was down or happy but where was God????? Most of the times I just can't feel him there. What is he trying to do to my already dented life?? If he had just let my mum go cancer free i wouldn't care if he had take a million phones away. But he didn't so God tell me what are you doing??? Please help me to realise ur plans that I may be able to live them the way u want me to. Please God help me, hold me in your arms and rock me like a baby. Give me the comfort that I have come to not know anymore. I am your child and will always be but let me feel ur presence o God. Let me know that u have not forsaken me. Into ur hands o God i entrust myself........