Mood : Unloved
what happens when u never wanted to face the truth and always try to make excuses to urself to hold on to that illusioned hope, when all the while u were playing the game all alone....
and one day someone made u realise that u were trying to escape the reality and now u have to indeed inevitably face the prospect of being all alone
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
i was moving all along so well till u came back to paint more colours in it....
but today the colours juz stop splattering themselves on the picture....
I guess it was juz never meant to be and i was a fool to think that there was anything left of the past to carry on to the future..
the piercing pain right now is juz so immense that i juz lost the appetite for food wat i love perhaps second best to u....
I am perhaps in a state of shock unable to comprehend all that's goin on... but the fact is i do and that is why it hurts so bad....
u asked me what is our state of relationship....
and i said friends but deep down inside frankly speaking i wanted othwerwise...
u felt that we're better off as friends coz we have more priorities in life to pursue now and felt that we should move on and remain as good friends...
Now that i know i'll leave the past all behind and move on without hesitations or doubts anymore....
at least i know that the unfinished picture that u were colouring stays unfinished...
i'll treasure u as a friend always and i have faith that u will just as well
what happens when u never wanted to face the truth and always try to make excuses to urself to hold on to that illusioned hope, when all the while u were playing the game all alone....
and one day someone made u realise that u were trying to escape the reality and now u have to indeed inevitably face the prospect of being all alone
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
i was moving all along so well till u came back to paint more colours in it....
but today the colours juz stop splattering themselves on the picture....
I guess it was juz never meant to be and i was a fool to think that there was anything left of the past to carry on to the future..
the piercing pain right now is juz so immense that i juz lost the appetite for food wat i love perhaps second best to u....
I am perhaps in a state of shock unable to comprehend all that's goin on... but the fact is i do and that is why it hurts so bad....
u asked me what is our state of relationship....
and i said friends but deep down inside frankly speaking i wanted othwerwise...
u felt that we're better off as friends coz we have more priorities in life to pursue now and felt that we should move on and remain as good friends...
Now that i know i'll leave the past all behind and move on without hesitations or doubts anymore....
at least i know that the unfinished picture that u were colouring stays unfinished...
i'll treasure u as a friend always and i have faith that u will just as well
this one made me thought of u all the time.... (beautiful soul)
we will still have pictures together but it just ain't ever gonna be the same again....
dso and osd is now history : '(
21/10/05 has permanently ended.....
__________________________________________________
something that u loved.......it's okay to fall out of smth but please don fall out of God.....
that' my last wish of u that is to love God the rest of ur life..........
and don give up prayin for ur family's salvation......
the first feeling u made known to me was aisteru........
the last feeling i made known to u for the last time i love you.....
serene is now ready to explore new horizons, new frontiers with new people....
a brand new world, here i come..... 
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